fRauGht with DuBieTy
with what is going on recently i can’t help but feel cheerlessly unsure. i am actually not surprised. its cause anticipated. the cost has been counted. the die is cast. i have given my ALL. regret couldn’t grab a space for itself. this is just new because i have to battle with self-confidence which is not normal for me since i am often always secure of myself and with the decisions i have made in life. but this new, intense and rare emotional upheaval somehow shakes my being. the rebellious nature in me is roused. the best and worst in me are on the lose. i sometimes catch myself both loving and hating. i have been guarding my heart from false expectations for fear of frustrations. my ideals have become simply wishes because i know life’s realities bite oftentimes. every now and then i gasp and grope for the light at the end of the tunnel hoping for a little assurance that things will just be fine in the end - even just a bit of it. is that too much to ask?
