wheN i waS not yet a m0m
Monday, February 18th, 2008when i was not yet a mom…
i never cared if i would do a bungee jump or sit on top of a speeding car…
i never bothered to wake up in the middle of the night to attend to a child crying in fever or pain…
i never had to mop the floor in the wee hours of the dawn because she threw up on it…
i never had to change those bedsheets at this same time because she had an "accident" on it…
i never had to pat or hug a child to put her to sleep…
i never had to stare and wonder how on earth could i ever see my own self on somebody else’s face…
i never had the chance to hold those small fingers and adore them lovingly…
i never had the opportunity to kiss one’s cheeks dozens of times yet could still not get enough doing it…
i never laughed and cried at the same time looking at a school’s report card or hearing teachers’ compliments…
i never had to panic because she was momentarily nowhere to be found inside the department store while shopping…
i never knew that those voices saying "mom, i’m here" are music to the ears…
i was never this tired, yet in my heart i still feel this deep joy…
i never knew what it is to keep loving and forgiving even when being deeply hurt…
i never felt so grateful to my own mom for nurturing me all those years with all the love she could ever give… (oh, how much i miss her!!!)
i would never know what i would have missed had i missed the chance of what motherhood really is…
that’s what could have been had i not become a mom.
but i am, and no one could ever take it away from me.
